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Peter Wieland

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You know you have been too long in Norway when...

...you start believe that if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the world would collapse.
...you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
...you can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
...you always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.
...a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that: a) he is drunk b) insane c) American d) all of the above
...silence is fun.
...you use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
...you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
...you know Norway's results in the last three years in the "Melodi Grand Prix" song contest.
...it seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.
...you know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.
...an outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius ( 45F ) is mild in mid June.
...you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.
...you don't fall over when walking on ice.
...you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to the Government liquor store.
...you think nothing of paying $50 for a bottleof 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet ("the wine monopoly").
...it's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
...it no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.
...you know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
...you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.
...you enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish).
...you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.
...you associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas-eve.
...you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.
...you wear sandals with socks.
...your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard coloured sportjackets.
...you don't look twice at business men in dark suits wearing sport socks.
...it feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack in the cinema (as well as everywhere else.)
...you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.
...you can't understand why foreigners haven't heard about Bjorn Daehlie

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